For some time now I’ve been planning to do a piece on Joe Jackson. Not to go into his relationship with Michael – that has been very well documented. Too well actually, if truth be told. I’m sure you are all as equally fed up as I am with the media imposing their skewed perception of what type of man Michael Jackson is. That they attack him on every front imaginable is infuriating in the extreme. But what concerns me most is when I see some members of the MJ fan base unwittingly succumbing to their tactics.
I am in awe of the MJ fan-mily, I truly am. Just look at this Facebook album I’ve created to highlight all the wonderful things they do. Some other standout moments has been the Uncovering of Michael’s name at the Gardner St school, the postponement of the Discovery program concerning a mock autopsy, the clean up of obnoxious YouTube videos as well as countless other instances of fans paying tribute to Michael from every corner of the Earth.
I believe another thing we can do for Michael is to not allow the media to use his family against him with us. Prior to Michael’s death I knew very little about Joe Jackson. I still don’t know very much to be honest because the media focus only on the abuse elements of the father son relationship. As fans of Michael’s it is natural that we would be repelled by anything or anyone that caused him harm and so it is perfectly understandable that we have anger towards Joe for the hurt he caused his son. Even though I knew Michael had forgiven him, I still had some resentment in my heart.
That is until I picked up the commemorative edition of “Right On!” magazine and read this statement from Joe Jackson:
“In one of the darkest moments of our lives we find it hard to find the words appropriate to this sudden tragedy we all had to encounter. Our beloved son, brother and father of three children has gone so unexpectedly, in such a tragic way and much too soon. It leaves us, his family, speechless and devastated to a point where communication with the outside world seems almost impossible at times. We miss Michael endlessly; our pain can not be described in words. But Michael would not want us to give up now. So we want to thank all of his faithful supporters and loyal fans worldwide, you – who Michael loved so much. Please do not despair because Michael will continue to live on in each and every one of you. Continue to spread his message, because that is what he would want you to do. Carry on, so his legacy will live forever.”
I remember being surprised by the intelligence and sensitivity of those words. These are not characteristics you’d associate with the stereotype of the domineering, aggressive father. Some people might think that Joe Jackson did not write those words himself, that he had someone on his staff do it and indeed that may well be the case. But I would like to believe that those words came from Joe. What can I say, I am the supreme optimist!
In ‘Living with Michael Jackson’ – Part 3 – Michael says about his father:
“And I totally forgive him for all of it, you know, you have to…”
And later…
“So when people say the abused abuse, that’s not true…that’s not true at all!”
This last line is the most significant of all if you think about it. Those in the media intent on portraying Michael as a child molester are as equally keen to re-hash the Joe Jackson abuse storyline. Think about Oprah Winfrey’s interview with Katherine Jackson and the MJ3. Oprah is seen only asking Joe Jackson about the one topic – you guessed it – the abuse.
I don’t believe for a single second they do so out of sympathy for Michael Jackson. Instead it is much more likely they do it so they can tie the abuse Michael suffered at his father’s hands into the false allegations.
Almost 2 years on and I’m more convinced than ever that Michael gets more of his admirable qualities from his father than what I had previously thought. Emotional, thoughtful and considerate - these same qualities I had initially attributed to his mother Katherine, and that certainly might be true but I now think its possible they also come from Joe.
Michael said as much himself in the 2005 Geraldo Riviera interview:
"At this season in your life, at this stage, I think you tend to appreciate who your parents are more and what they've done for you. You almost start to retract everything and where you are in your life and all of the wonderful things they instilled in you. You start to see them come forth and take fruition in your life and I'm starting to see a lot of things that my father influenced me on, my mother. So, it's been amazing."
"I'm very much like my father in a lot of ways. He's very strong, he's a warrior. He's always taught us to be courageous and to be confident and to believe in our ideals and no matter what, no star is too far to reach, and you never give up and our mother taught us that as well. No matter what."
This more recent statement from Joe Jackson demonstrates that Joe understood what made Michael so special.
A MESSAGE TO FANS FROM JOE JACKSON: I have heard about the protests planned for tomorrow (at the Los Angeles Courthouse, Monday, February 8) and I appreciate the fans feeling that they are Michael’s voice now that he is unable to fight for himself. I also want to stand behind the statement made online by a fan that you are a reflection of Michael and you must represent him as he would represent himself – peacefully, respectfully, gracefully, and above all else with love. There is no room for hatred and violence.
While we may not be as quick to forgive as Michael was, we must still conduct ourselves with the grace and dignity he deserves. Please remember this in your protest.
Michael WILL get justice, just as we knew he would in his trial. Please remember that your actions will also sway public opinion and that justice can come sooner rather than later depending on the face the fans show the world. The world can see hurt, pain, and outrage, but not the anger. All we want is justice, nothing more, nothing less. This man should be treated as anyone else would in this situation. Showing your support and love for him in such a big way will not go unnoticed. We all appreciate your unwavering support.
In writing, we get the message unadulterated by the media’s agenda. Reading Joe’s words from his statements and the transcript of Michael’s speech he delivered at Oxford in 2002 I now have a totally different perspective on Joe Jackson. The Oxford speech is so beautiful that I must feature part of it here:
(The full transcript is available at vindicatemj – click here)
“A lot of kids today are hurt puppies who have weaned themselves off the need for love. They couldn’t care less about their parents. Left to their own devices, they cherish their independence. They have moved on and have left their parents behind. Then there are the far worse cases of children who harbour animosity and resentment toward their parents, so that any overture that their parents might undertake would be thrown forcefully back in their face.
Tonight, I don’t want any of us to make this mistake. That’s why I’m calling upon all the world’s children – beginning with all of us here tonight – to forgive our parents, if we felt neglected. Forgive them and teach them how to love again.
You probably weren’t surprised to hear that I did not have an idyllic childhood. The strain and tension that exists in my relationship with my own father is well documented. My father is a tough man and he pushed my brothers and me hard, from the earliest age, to be the best performers we could be.
He had great difficulty showing affection. He never really told me he loved me. And he never really complimented me either. If I did a great show, he would tell me it was a good show. And if I did an OK show, he told me it was a lousy show.
He seemed intent, above all else, on making us a commercial success. And at that he was more than adept. My father was a managerial genius and my brothers and I owe our professional success, in no small measure, to the forceful way that he pushed us. He trained me as a showman and under his guidance I couldn’t miss a step.
But what I really wanted was a Dad. I wanted a father who showed me love. And my father never did that. He never said I love you while looking me straight in the eye; he never played a game with me. He never gave me a piggyback ride; he never threw a pillow at me, or a water balloon.
But I remember once when I was about four years old, there was a little carnival and he picked me up and put me on a pony. It was a tiny gesture, probably something he forgot five minutes later. But because of that moment I have this special place in my heart for him. Because that’s how kids are, the little things mean so much to them and for me, that one moment meant everything. I only experienced it that one time, but it made me feel really good, about him and the world.
But now I am a father myself, and one day I was thinking about my own children, Prince and Paris and how I wanted them to think of me when they grow up. To be sure, I would like them to remember how I always wanted them with me wherever I went, how I always tried to put them before everything else. But there are also challenges in their lives. Because my kids are stalked by paparazzi, they can’t always go to a park or a movie with me.
So what if they grow older and resent me, and how my choices impacted their youth? Why weren’t we given an average childhood like all the other kids, they might ask? And at that moment I pray that my children will give me the benefit of the doubt. That they will say to themselves: “Our daddy did the best he could, given the unique circumstances that he faced. He may not have been perfect, but he was a warm and decent man, who tried to give us all the love in the world.”
I hope that they will always focus on the positive things, on the sacrifices I willingly made for them, and not criticise the things they had to give up, or the errors I’ve made, and will certainly continue to make, in raising them. For we have all been someone’s child, and we know that despite the very best of plans and efforts, mistakes will always occur. That’s just being human.
And when I think about this, of how I hope that my children will not judge me unkindly, and will forgive my shortcomings, I am forced to think of my own father and despite my earlier denials, I am forced to admit that me must have loved me. He did love me, and I know that.
There were little things that showed it. When I was a kid I had a real sweet tooth – we all did. My favourite food was glazed doughnuts and my father knew that. So every few weeks I would come downstairs in the morning and there on the kitchen counter was a bag of glazed doughnuts – no note, no explanation – just the doughnuts. It was like Santa Claus.
Sometimes I would think about staying up late at night, so I could see him leave them there, but just like with Santa Claus, I didn’t want to ruin the magic for fear that he would never do it again. My father had to leave them secretly at night, so as no one might catch him with his guard down. He was scared of human emotion; he didn’t understand it or know how to deal with it. But he did know doughnuts.
And when I allow the floodgates to open up, there are other memories that come rushing back, memories of other tiny gestures, however imperfect, that showed that he did what he could. So tonight, rather than focusing on what my father didn’t do, I want to focus on all the things he did do and on his own personal challenges. I want to stop judging him.
I have started reflecting on the fact that my father grew up in the South, in a very poor family. He came of age during the Depression and his own father, who struggled to feed his children, showed little affection towards his family and raised my father and his siblings with an iron fist.
Who could have imagined what it was like to grow up a poor black man in the South, robbed of dignity, bereft of hope, struggling to become a man in a world that saw my father as subordinate. I was the first black artist to be played on MTV and I remember how big a deal it was even then. And that was in the 80s!
My father moved to Indiana and had a large family of his own, working long hours in the steel mills, work that kills the lungs and humbles the spirit, all to support his family. Is it any wonder that he found it difficult to expose his feelings? Is it any mystery that he hardened his heart, that he raised the emotional ramparts? And most of all is it any wonder why he pushed his sons so hard to succeed as performers, so that they could be saved from what he knew to be a life of indignity and poverty?
I have begun to see that even my father’s harshness was a kind of love, an imperfect love, to be sure, but love nonetheless. He pushed me because he loved me. Because he wanted no man ever to look down at his offspring.
And now with time, rather than bitterness, I feel blessing. In the place of anger, I have found absolution. And in the place of revenge I have found reconciliation. And my initial fury has slowly given way to forgiveness."
One thing I would like every one of my fellow fans to think about before they write, blog, tweet or say anything about Joe Jackson (or any other member of his family for that matter) is – what would Michael think about it? Regardless of what was done to him I just can’t see him being pleased with any of us being rude to his father, or one of his brothers or sisters.
